Monday, December 13, 2010

new boots

j and i went out to find a pair of boots to replace an overly loved pair - it was well past their expiration date.   i am really loving boots lately - much more than is probably healthy, especially given that women's shoes are nothing more than glorified foot binding (i love them, but let's be honest - they are not made for walking).  nonetheless, after many weeks of searching (i guess i'm a bit picky about shoes), we finally succeeded and made a purchase last night.  but of course, you can't just buy the boots.  you also need the spray stuff to protect the boots from the elements (okay, fine, i'm willing to accept this).  and you also need the silly little stickers that make the boots almost functional.

you see, when we were checking out, the tricky little salesman pulled out stickers, demonstrated affixing them to the bottom of the soles, and asked j if he wanted those too "so she won't slip."  tricky, tricky, tricky.  the salesman didn't ask me - he asked j. because what kind of heartless jerk wants his girl slipping and falling down all over the city?  j responded that i am capable of healing myself should i fall over, so why should he pay extra for a feature that came with me?

just kidding.  he told the salesman that yes, we wanted the silly anti-slip stickers.  as i peeled them off and stuck them to the soles, we did wonder why the soles could not have been manufactured in such a way as to have tread already on them.  nonetheless, i also sprayed them and took them out for a walk today as i continued my stocking stuffer quest (which, so far today, has been wholly unsuccessful because the "city that never sleeps" actually sleeps in pretty darn late, and none of the stores i wanted to visit were open until 11.00 or even 12.00 ... so i'll have to go out again).  as further evidence that women's shoes are built to constrain, in the course of the 2 or 3 miles i walked this morning, i lost a couple patches of skin from my heels.  yet rather than return the boots and buy sensible shoes, i'll wear them a couple more times until they are broken in, and then continue traipsing about the city in completely non-functional heels.  because they are so cool.  so rather than freely walking about now that the stores are finally open, i am instead chilling in my teeny tiny apartment until j comes home for lunch, bearing gifts of neosporin and gauze.

dear little shoe salesman, i think you should start peddling moleskin "so she won't lose chunks of flesh from her heels."

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